It's not all champagne and frosting
by Nea Poulain
Summary: They're messed up, sometimes really idiotic. But the truth is that they are completely in love with each other and that's 100% awesome. Alternate Ending.
1. A ten

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear, all belong to Craig Thomas and Carter Bays.

**Author's note**: this is an alternate ending of the series and, so, although it tooks several things about the finale, ignores many others. Nobody gets divorced and no body steals some blue french horn and probably nobody dies. It's focused in my favourite pairing: Barney/Robin. Also, english is not my mother tongue, but I can't imagine translating all the usual expressions of the characters, so...

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><p><strong>A ten<strong>

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><p>Twenty four hours married. If someone told Barney that he was gonna marry Robin eight years ago, he surely had laughed. But it happened. And now they were married for twenty four hours and it's 100% awesome.<p>

"So, Mrs. Stinson or... Mrs. Scherbatsky?" he asked, finale.

"Seriously we never talk about this?"

"Nope. We're busy having sex, planing disasters as bachelor's partys and rehearsal dinners, being awesome, planning a wedding... That kind of stuff," he resumed.

"Get it."

"So...?," he asked again. "Of course we can forget about it and instead have sex. Or get drunk to celebrate that we're survived to this twenty four hours. Or both."

"I think Scherbatsky sounds better," she finally said, cautiously, "at least with Robin Charles." It was true that they never talked about things like their last name, and she wasn't sure if Barney was going to be okay with her decision of keeping her last name.

"Decided," Barney said as fast as Robin end the sentence, like if that doesn't was a big deal. We'll it was not a life-or-dead decision."So... Sex again?"

A phone rang. Robin go to the budoir and looked at her cellphone. Really her friends can't survive twenty four hours without her? She draw a smile on her face when she read the message.

"It's Lily," she said.

"C'mon! I tell you, these friends don't know any boundaries. It's our honeymoon!," Barney complained. "Twenty four hours? Really?"

"She says something about a ten."

Barney stood up and reached Robin.

"I tell you, they can't survive without our awesomeness. Or it's a gossip and Marshall isn't there and she has to tell to someone urgently and it's really a ten?," he guessed.

"Ted doesn't go to Chicago," said Robin just after open the next text Lily sent to her. "She met a girl."

"What?!"

"The bass player."

"What?!"

"He called her fifteen minutes ago."

"What?!"

"I think is everything." Robin left the cellphone in the budoir again ant stared at Barney's face. "So... What are you just saying about how to enjoy this honeymoon?" The she realised that Barney's already took his cellphone and he was making a phone call. "Oh! Really? It's our honeymoon!"

"Two seconds," he said and then he shout to the cellphone: "Three days! It's not difficult to wait three days. Three days, Ted, damn it! And my hand still hurts, by the way!" Then he hung up the phone and looked at Robin. "Drunk with Scotch, sex or both? I don't want more interruptions."

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><p><strong>Yeah, that totally happen in my mind. After all the drama with Ted moving to Chicago I suppose that Marshall and Lily can't wait to give the news.<strong>

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><p><em>Andrea Poulain <em>

_November 27, 2014_


	2. Honeymoon details

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Honeymoon Details<strong>

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><p>"I want all the details of your honeymoon!"<p>

Lily was... Impatient. Really impatient. Robin totally ignored the question and ask others instead while they sat down in their usual table at MacLaren's.

"When is the flight to Italy? And where's Marshall?"

"Next Monday and taking care of Marvin, but that's not important. Details!" Lily seemed really impatient at that point, like if she had been waiting this moment only to make that question. Okey... Maybe she had been. Since they stopped answerinh her texts. But, like Barney had said: their friends didn't had any boundaries or knowledge about them.

"We did it on the roof of the hotel," answered Barney and high-five with Robin. Lily hit him on the shin.

"NOT THAT DETAILS!"

"So... The positions?"

"NO!"

"How many times?"

"No! You son of a bitch! You can be married but you're still a pain in the ass, Barney," Lily pointed him with the finger. "Seriously Robin, you will have to be very patient with this... Son of a bitch!" She hit him again.

"Really? That's necessary?," Barney complained.

"No, but I always wanted to do it two times in a row," Lily smiled at him fakely and the looked at Robin. "Details?"

"Just the normal... We drink champagne... And then scotch, smoke, have great time, and then—" Robin shrugged her shoulders. "You know—"

"Why can't you be a normal couple?"

"We can talk about you and Marsh..."

"Okey! Barney! So, no details?"

"Just one more,", added Barney with an obvious smile in his face, "it was legen... —wait for it— dary! Legendary!"

"I give up, I really give up with you, people!" Lily stood up quickly and stared at the two. "Well, just for celebrate, because your recent marriage, the next round's on me."

"So—," started Robin, grabbing Barney's hand. "One week, eh? We survived."

"Just de beginning, Scherbatsky. Just the beginning...," and after that, he kissed her.

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><p><strong>Yeah, just the beginning. And they are still in honeymoon mood, so things are going incredibly okay. I like this two and hate the idea of the divorce, but with their personality, I'm sure that they're going to have trouble.<strong>


	3. Robin bet Barney

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Robin bet Barney...<strong>

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><p>"So... It's weekend, Lily and Marshall are in Italy, Ted is with the bass girl..."<p>

"Her name is Tracy."

"You actually put attention in all the things Ted says, eh?"

"Yeah... I'm her friend, so I act like one, actually..."

"And if the cuddle stuff he says is boring? I mean, he called her only one day after, so, disaster..."

Robin rolled her eyes. Barney is really impossible, but she was used to it. And he had his one rule for everything, and it always changed. And a lot of laws for relationships and, the last month, Ted suffered hearing that he had to wait three days after calling a girl.

"C'mon, give Ted a break, Tracy is as weird as him. Coins? Books? Nerd facts easy to ignore? Gloves for driving?," Robin laughed. She liked Tracy, although. "I tell you, the perfect fit."

"Do you really think she's gonna marry him?"

"Totally sure."

"Maybe... We can make a bet, like Lily and Marshall," suggested Barney.

"A bet?"

"Yeah, long story, short version: Lily and Marshall make bets with our lives," explained Barney. "Like, always. Marshall lost five dollars on our wedding."

"Why for?"

"Long story. He's team Ted."

Robin avoided that topic. They really was trying to forget it, but the truth is that Ted's feelings are one of those totally uncomfortable topics that they avoid to touch always, even the weekend of the wedding Ted has totally unresolved feeling for her; that's why Robin had found Tracey just perfect for him. So, she pretended not hearing what Barney just said and said instead:

"Fifty dollars. Ted is going to end with Tracy."

"No way! He called her before the three days. It's a rule!"

"So... Fifty dollars?"

"Sure."

"You'll lose. I'm sure," Robin took the last swallow of her coffee while Barney was reading the newspaper with no interest. "So... Plans for today?"

"I hear about a Mexican-Scotish restaurant, wanna try?," suggested Barney.

"Mexican... Scotish? Really?"

"Completely serious."

"Yeah, why not."

"It's a plan," she decided quickly, putting the cup in the sink. "And Barney... Bet with other people lives is weird."

"I never said Lily's and Marshall's hobbies were normal. And their hobbies are really ackward."

"Let's nee ever do this again."

"Deal...," said Barney, but he didn't appear to be really sure about that. "No, no, wait, one more, Marshall and Lily have another son... Or daughter, whatever. Fifty bucks."

"Just that one. And no more."

"It's a deal."

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><p><strong>Yeah, I find that Lily's and Marshall's hobbies really really weird. Specially because Lily is a mastermind of conspiracy and she ruined like five or six Ted's love relationships.<strong>


	4. Normal days

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Normal days<strong>

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><p>"Hey, Robin, cookies?"<p>

"NOBODY WANTS COOKIES, DAMN IT, PATRICE!"

Normal day in WWN building. Just as normal as any other. Why Patrice still loved her? Why? Not that she hated her... Just... Just... Well, Barney had put that better in the last play of the Playbook: Patrice was the person that annoys Robin most in the world. For no reason.

"Maybe one?" She turned around in the moment when she herd that voice. In two months and maybe a half of marriage that was like the third time Barney shows up there.

"Don't you supposed to be in your office?," she asked. Well, Barney's job wasn't exactly the hardest job in the world: he just needed to show up, and sign everything that seems a little illegal. The dream job, thought her with sarcasm.

"Yeah... One thing, I quit," announced Barney after he took a cookie and Patrice left. "Seriously you still hate her? She was one of your bridesmaids."

"Really?" Robin completely ignored the question about Patrice.

"Yeah. For good," he said. "But about...?"

"Why for?," she asked. Robin didn't know if he had remembered the night he told the and her all the truth about his job. And Ted's mother. And more stuff. Probably not.

"Just... Stuff..."

No, he didn't remember.

"Stuff?"

"Just... O.K.?!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So... What's now?"

"I don't know. Maybe write a book... Plant a tree... Have a child..." He noticed Robin's eyes as her 'what the hell?' look, so he rectified: "Not the last one. Checked."

"I was talking about dinner... You're here, right?"

"Ah... That. There's a Scotish restaurant near, wanna go? Looks great. So much better than Cafe L'amour. And less... pink?"

"That's enough for me," she left their office.

"And, really you still hate Patrice?" he asked. "Without her there wouldn't have been any The Robin."

"Not really. You would have found another bitch that annoys me."

"Not as Patrice."

"You win this time, Stinson. You win." Yes, he was right. When she saw Patrice in Barney's apartment for the first time, she had driven nuts, literally. "But, I'll have my revenge."

"I'll be waiting for it, Scherbatsky."

They could perfectly imagine Lily in that precise moments, between the two, saying something like: "You're really not a normal couple!" It was right, they aren't. But the are proud of not being one. They was messed up, they were idiotic, they behaved like stupids. And they were totally in love with each other.

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><p><strong>Love isn't always enough, but what the hell, they're in their first months as a married couple, so they're in a magic place that looks like paradise. Obviously that isn't forever, but... I like when these two are happy.<strong>


	5. A phone call change everything

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>A phone call change everything<strong>

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><p>"Daisy is coming and Lily want us to go to MacLaren's with Ted and Tracy to celebrate... Or... Well, read that. Do you understand something?" Robin passed her cellphone to Barney. It' was Monday and that night they were planning to stay there —and have sex all over the place—. "Going to a bar. On Monday. Not all of this crazy stuff ended when we got married and Ted decided to have his fresh start and..."<p>

"It would never end."

"I'm pretty sure that when we are sixty years old we won't be at a bar."

"Challenge accepted."

Robin rolled her eyes, but says nothing about that. Most of their twenties' stories start in a bar. And their thirties' stories. But maybe sometime that would end and they would become and old married couple...

"So... I work tomorrow, but it doesn't matter. Wanna go to MacLaren's?," she asked.

"What kind of question is that? I'm always want to go there," Barney said. "Of course that ruine some of our plans tonight... But... We can do the rest of the stuff later."

Both smiled.

On Monday, there was two types of people at the bar. Youngsters that wanted to drink all the alcohol avaiabled no matter what day it was and...they.

"Hey!," Tracy saluted them when she and Ted enter and took a sit in their usual table. Contrary to Barney's predictions, Ted didn't screwed up their relationship after called her only one day after. "How are you doing?"

"Great," answer Robin. "Lily texted us."

"Yeah... Baby's coming." Ted smiled.

"But not with a cool second name like Waitforit!," interrupted Barney.

"That's a really cool name, bro," said Ted, "but I never let you to name one of my kids. Never."

"C'mon! They'll have cooler names —not like Evelyn— if I name them," Barney suggested, though he doubted to find some cool name as legendary as Waitforit.

"Not in a million years," said Ted. "They're gonna be Luke and Leia, for sure." Maybe not, noticed Barney when he saws Tracy's look.

Robin's phone rang and she stood up very quickly.

"Sorry...," she said, looking at the cellphone's screen. "I return in a minute."

"Well, next round's on me," said Tracy and did the same thing that Robin, leaving Barney and Ted alone.

"So... How are married life?," Ted asked.

"Awesome. Well, she's awesome," Barbey smiled, looking at Robin, at the bar'a entrance, talking in the phone, "that helps a lot."

"It's been almost eight months..."

"Yeah, but we're still in paradise."

"That'd end."

"Yeah, but she's awesome, I'm awesome, we'll figure out how to survive. And... Tracy and you?" Barney changed the topic on purpose.

"I think maybe she is...," started Ted.

"The One?"

"Yes, exactly."

"I like her. You chose well. One of the two women I hadn't slept with in New York."

"Two?"

"The other one is Lily, just in case."

"Hey!" Robins returned to the table and sit down almost as the same time as Tracy. "The call was from World News..."

"And?," asked Barney.

"They want me to be foreign correspondent," she said. Her phone rang again, before anyone could say something. She read the message with a smile. "Daisy is completely fine. Lily promises to send a photo if we cheer for Daisy."

"She is always in the phone or what?," said Ted.

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><p><strong>And the dream job appeared. Yes, this two are a marriage, fights are going to appear some day... But maybe not yet.<strong>


	6. Unperks of overthink

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Unperks of overthink<strong>

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><p>"You're overthinking this," Barney stated the third day, while they were having breakfast. Robin had had tha same dilemma that three days and the time to gave an answer approaches fastly. "Let me help you, is your dream job, why you don't take it?"<p>

"It's not so simple...," she started, "it's a foreign correspondent job. Lot of travelling."

She had always wanted that, why she was being so doubtful about it? Maybe Barney was right and she was overthinking. It should be simple, but, the more she thought, the mure unperks she found.

"That's obvious."

"Okey, so, you don't have a permanent job right now but what if that changes?," she asked, "what if you can't—?"

"We'll figure out when it happen. You're overthinking! It's your dream, go and get it!" he cheered her. "I can travel with you, we can have sex all over the world..." Yeah, it sounded awesome, perfect. That was the call she'd been waiting for since she started working in World News and she didn't now what to do.

"I really want this job, I really do," she finally said. "But isn't gonna be easy. Maybe now it's sound like the dream, but what if it affects us? Affect our relationship?"

"You're are really overthinking."

"It's my job."

"Okey, let's make a deal. If you want to take it, you take it. And if doesn't work for me, and if it starts to affect us, I promise I'll tell you. Before it's too late," he promised. "When we get married, I made a vow. An only vow. Okey? We'll figure it out."

Despite his words, Robin wasn't sure if that's going to work for the two, but, is he supported her, maybe try it totally worth it. The couldn't know anything about the future, the only think they could do in that very moment was jump into the void.

"Okey, and if it doesn't work for me, I'll tell you, it's a deal?"

"It's a deal, Scherbatsky," he extended her hand so she can shake it. "Go and get your dream job."

"Thank you for the support."

"You're going to see, it's gonna be legen —wait for it— dary!"

She smiled, but, deeply, she was doubtful. Of course, maybe it would work for the two at the beginning, but then? Having nomad lifestyle could be a trouble for the two, maybe the spent weeks without visiting New York, far from their friends. Of course, they had each other, but, everyone sometimes needed friends.

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><p><strong>Yeah, with a propose like that comes to you, it's very difficult to think clearly in the pros and cons in the first moment. And, at first, maybe all seems to be perfect, but time change everything.<strong>


	7. Matter of time

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Matter of time<strong>

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><p>At first it was great. Barney travel with her almost all the time and they could spend her free time doing tourism or, better, in the hotel's room. The day after Lily and Marshal returned from Italy. They took a plane to Morocco, and after Morocco, Vancouver, and the Paris. And then... It was almost a year of travelling, and they have plenty legendary things, but that crazy lifestyle soon started to play havoc with their relationship. The spent the most of the time in a plane and having sex in the bathroom wasn't exciting anymore. Also, they were too miserable when he couldn't go with her.<p>

They keep contact with the rest of the gang, yes, but it was not the same. Ted was engaged with Tracy and Robin had started to pressure Barney to pay the bet they did almost a year earlier. And of course, the honeymoon feelings was over, now they were at that uncertain place that Lily called "The real thing" and fights became sort of normal.

"New York, again! I've missed this city so much!" Barney shouted when they picked up their package. It's almost Christmas and they have a chance to spent Christmas with the gang. After that, Robin had to cover the Tokio's New Year, so, they were going to be in Japan to receive 2015.

"Lily called."

"So soon?," Barney complained. "I want some time alone with you, and New York."

"She's complaining that we almost never going to see them and Marshall since they returned," said Robin. "They're right."

"Because we've been travelling a lot this year!"

"They want to meet us in MacLaren's," Robin continued, ignoring Barney's comments. "That means that they aren't going to show up with kids, so, I say yes. And you?"

"Okey let's go there... And Ted and Tracy?"

"They're at Farhamptom. Romantic weekend or so...," Robin told. "It's curious. He and Tracy adopted that place as their romantic place after they met each other at our wedding. And we never returned to that place."

"Do yo wanna go back to this place?"

"Maybe..."

"But we're rarely at New York, we spend more time in airports, plains and hotels..."

"Whatever," Robin stopped the conversation right there.

"Hey! I'm just telling the truth!" And the fight started... "We don't have time to go on a romantic weekend because of your job! And that's it!"

"So my job is guilty. What about the laser tag tournament a month ago?!" Robin exploded. "No, you can't cancel that to go with me to Barcelona, that's to much to ask!"

"I never complain when you see the hockey!"

"It's not about the hockey! It's about you said that we don't have time because of my work. And as soon as we have time to do something for us, you go to...!"

"OH, JUST SHUT UP!," the taxi driver shouted. "I have to hear like fifty fights a week, I want peace!"

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><p><strong>Every single couple in the world fight. And, with this two's personalities, it's obvious that the fights appear soon. I remember they first fights like something crearly spectacular... And of course, Robin's job is the main character.<strong>


	8. The Perfect Year

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>The perfect year<strong>

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><p>2013 was the best year of their lifes. 2014 was only great. 2015 was just normal until that point, a large and infinite sussesions of fights and sex, and reconciliation, and the they have entire weeks without fighting and then another fight. And so on, and so on, and so on. Ted's wedding was suppose to happen on September but Tracy find out that she was pregnant, so they had pressed the pause button.<p>

"You're going to pay me?," Robin asked. "You remember that bet, right? Ted ends with Tracy, you have to pay me fifty dollars."

"Until the wedding..."

"Damn it, Barney!" Sometimes her husband was really impossible, but that was a normal week and, by that time, that kind of weeks was strange. "Tracy is going to have Ted's baby, do you want more proves?"

"Until the wedding," he insisted.

"But—"

"Wedding!"

"Fine!," she finally said. "Until the wedding. And no more."

"Someday I will pay you. Sure," he said, "since the moment I met her I knew she was perfect for her. Only... I thought that Ted had screwed up everything when he called her so soon. What if she found that weird?"

"Well, she certainly did not."

"And now they're going to have a son..."

"In a few months we will be the only couple without little demons," Robin sighed. "It's like... I don't know, weird."

Of course, she didn't want kids, not ten years ago, when Ted stole the blue French horn for her or now.

"Do you want kids?"

"No, it's not that...," she sighed again.

"So, why the sigh?," he asked.

"Well... Remember that we—the gang— used to say that even if we get married and if we have children, nothing will gonna change?," she asked. Now, that words sounded strange to her, kids usually change everything. "That's not true. We travel a lot, Lily and Marshall have two kids and we barely see them, and now Ted and Tracy..."

"I know...," he sighed. "All is going to change... And we can't do anything to stop that."

"Sometimes I would like to return to 2005 and stop the time there..."

"Why there?"

"For me, 2005 didn't have drama. Was like... The perfect year."

"2013. For me," he said. "I loved my life before, sure, but... 2013."

"The year we got married...," she smiled and then, she kissed him.

Yeah, maybe they have tough times, but things like that make she remember that Barney worth it. Completely. For that days without fights, it worth it. He constantly remembered to her how much he love her. And for that, Robin used to think that they could get over everything.

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><p><strong>And that's why I refuse to accept that they got divorced because a hotel didn't have wi-fi (okey, maybe more things, but the way the fight started was terrible...). Every single couple in the world has fights and trouble, even The Couple (Lily and Marshall), so...<strong>


	9. The three-year mark

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>The third-year mark<strong>

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><p>2016 was a nightmare. And endless nightmare, and the crisis, Argentina. The cause: wi-fi. Those times the fights started with the most innocent sentence. Like: "I'm hungry", "I have to work late" or "This hotel doesn't have wi-fi." They are always too tired to talk about something and Robin prefered to spend her time working that having that terrible and endless arguments with Barney.<p>

But that time they could avoid the fight in any possible way. What had started like a normal fight because of the wi-fi, ended with the most terrible words Robin had ever said.

"Is this just not working anymore?," yelled Robin, and, with that last shout, the silence flooded the entire room. That was the first time that anyone had tha face to state that.

"Wait, what 'this'? This-'this'?" He simply didn't have courage to say the word 'marriage'.

But it was true: they weren't working anymore and that simply sucks. When the weren't fighting, they were having sex, getting drunk or working. The fights became the mark of that relationship and Robin and Barney had been to arrogant to say anything.

"If I gave you an out, righ now —if there was an exit ramp just here, at the three year mark—," she said after an endlessly moment of complete silence, "would... you... take it?"

That's it.

The words no one wants to say but, sooner or later, appear in almost every marriage.

"What—?" ...the hell?

He didn't finish. Barney Stinson, in that moment, found out that the crisis isn't only that day, and that crapy hotel with no wi-fi. The crisis was he, and Robin being too busy to notice that their marriage was falling apart. And there was no guilty ones. It had been he, and Robin, and her job, and the time they spent far from the other, and the way they simply stopped caring about fixing their marriage.

"I don't—," he totally forgot what he was going to say. "First of all, do you wanna have sex and get super drunk?"

The answer came too fast.

"Okey."

What were they doing? When they got married, both knew that isn't gonna be easy because they are completely messed up. It had been ironical that two people afraid of commitment got married and, actually, last together three years. But Barney didnt want to think that night could be the last night he spent being Robin's husband.

He wanted to end the night completely blacked out.

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><p><strong>And, from this moment, the canon is going to be ignored. I took the moment in Argentina as the bifurcation point because I want the characters to meditate about the possible end of a love story and actually the scene was good —as a normal fight—... If it hadn't ended in the crapiest divorce in the world<strong>


	10. Still wanting the trouble

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Still wanting the trouble<strong>

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><p>They were finally sober. The had woken up in the incorrect room, and with a baby that wasn't theirs. When the set foot in the correct room they realised that they had to end the fight that had started the night before.<p>

"So—," started Robin, after he asked if she were sober. "About what we argued last night?"

Barney sighed. If he could get drunk in that precise moment, he certainly did. But he can't avoid that more time, because he was too scared that Robin actually want the out. If Robin had stopped loving him... Another sigh. He sat down at bed's footer and waited until Robin did the same.

"Look, Robin, I love you," he started. The words were stuck in his throat and he didn't know what thing he could say so he dropped the first words that came to his mind. "When I married you, I made a vow, that I will always be honest with you." Maybe he only wanted to win some time, but time was the only thing they didn't have. They never had time. "I really do love you. And, the first time we were togheter, I said crearly that I wanted the trouble."

"And?," she asked, just as nervous as him.

"And? I still want the trouble. I'm always going to want the trouble," he smiles at her and took her hand. "I married you knowing that you're as messed up as I am and that you love your career. I want the trouble. The question is, do you want the trouble?"

The silence flooded the room again.

Barney could perfectly hear Robin's slow breath. The question was taking so long and...

"Yes," stated Robin. "I want it."

Of course, Barney wanted to hear that, but from that moment, the things weren't going to be only words. They had to fix their mess called marriage and they had to listen what the other said.

"This is not the 'we'll figure it out' time," Barney said. "Now we really have to fix this mess."

"And if we can't—?"

"Don't even dare to think that, Scherbatsky. Don't." He was too frightened and thinking on sad things weren't going to work didn't help him. "I guess both of us have to change—"

"We're idiots," Robin interrupted him. "We promised we would tell the other if this situation starts to affect our relation before it was too late. But our marriage is falling apart, not since yesterday... This months have been a constant nightmare and—!"

"I'm sorry. For being so angry the last months," he said abruptly.

"I'm sorry, too. For cheating on you. With my job," she apologised. "So... What are we gonna do?"

"I don't have a clue. I wish I had—"

"We have to fix this."

"I know... I wish loving you was enough. But it isn't."

"Enough for a start, maybe," she smiled. "We have to talk. Not only fight and complain about everything. That sucks! We're fucked up."

"Robin—, why did this end so fucked up?"

"Because... we are complete idiots. And arrogant."

_Idiots that love each other_, Barney thought. He didn't say it because it wasn't going to help. But that night was the first time in months they actually have a normal conversation about what was happening between the two. It was a start.

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><p><strong>I think that th<strong>**e out is too easy for the people who want the trouble. So, this is my version. The solution isn't easy, and they have a long walk in front of them, but they're going to find his way.**


	11. Where's the poop?

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Where's the poop?<strong>

* * *

><p>After Argentina, she had a complete free week, no travelling to anywhere. In that time, she discovered how much she missed New York although all things continue changing. Ted, for example, now had a little girl called Penny —not Leia, as he had planned— and lived in the suburbs. The house was pretty amazing but Lily and Marshall hated the suburbs, Barney said the suburbs was lame and she... Well, she didn't understand why the average New Yorker hate the suburbs. And New Jersey.<p>

So, after spent one night at Ted's and Tracy's home, she met Lily at MacLaren's because she sent her a text.

"Where's the poop, Robin?"

"I don't even say hello!," Robin complained. "What's that?" She pointed at Lily's drink. Last night they had discovered that she was expecting the third child.

"Beer without alcohol," she answered. "It doesn't suck to much. So... Where's the poop, Robin?"

"What? I swear that this—"

"Where's the poop, Robin?"

"How do yo even know there is 'poop'?"

"Because maybe Ted and Marshall buy all that crapy stuff about how great Argentina was," explained Lily. "But not me. So, where's the poop, Robin?"

"There's no poop, I don't know—"

"You only repeated like a hundred times: 'it was great, it was great, it was great' with your 'obviously not great' face," Lily said. "Where's the poop?"

"There's no—! Okey, okey..." Robin put her hands up as a sign of rendition. "Barney and I have a huge fight; I mean, really, really huge."

"Sweetie, all your fights are huge," Lily corrected; "for example, before Argentina, you had an enormous fight in our apartment. You throw three cups out the window. Three! So... Any huger than that? I don't think so."

"We-talk-about-taking-the-easy-out," Robin said too fast for Lily.

"The what? The where? The who? The why?"

"An out. I asked him if he'd take an easy out in the three-year mark if I offer it for him," Robin explained. "Never before we had touched that topic. Never. Not even when we broke things or throw them out the window. Never."

"Oh, sweetie..."

"I know... It's just... I'm so fucking scared...," she said al last. "Being togheter had always been a huge drama and in Argentina we almost throw it out the window because it was easy in order to simple stop fighting." But Barney was right. The path that had lead them to that moment had been troubling and an enormous drama sometimes, so they, at least, had to try saving it. Because, despite all the problems, there they was. Married.

"You have to talk. Not only fight, Robin, actually talk. Because if you don't listen what the other say, maybe the next fight you take the easy out, sweetie. Because it's gonna be easy."

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><p><strong>Some common sense, they urgently need it. And I don't have more notes for this chapter. <strong>


	12. The awesome way

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>The awesome way<strong>

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><p>When Robin entered to the apartment that night, she only said two words.<p>

"I quit."

"What?!"

"I quit," she repeated.

"But... Why?"

"They offer me a job as an anchor. At primetime, so, no more crazy travels" she told.

"But, I don't get it, being a foreign correspondant was your dream job," he said. "You doesn't have to quit just because a fight between you and me..."

"It's not only for this, Barney." She had been thinking the last days about her career and the true was that although she loved her job, she had discover things more important. "I'm just tired of missing all the things that happen here, in New York. I had my dream job two years... And it was just ok, not as epic as I used to think."

"Sure?"

"Yeah, sure... I want to stay here."

Barney smiled.

"We can spend more time togheter."

"Yeah..." Robin is smiling, too.

"Okey, I know the things between us have been difficult the last days, but, do you wanna go somewhere to celebrate your new job as an anchor?"

"Sure."

"I'd call the others, but... Kids, and responsibilities...," he said. "Every time we see them comes to the conversation the inevitably 'we have to leave early, you know, kids...', and it sucks!"

"I know." For the first time en ages they were having a completely normal conversation without shouts or reproaches. "The good thing is we're still 100% awesome."

"Yeah. We're never gonna stop being awesome, right?"

"Right."

"We're a married couple, but in the awesome way," he stated.

"You're an idiot, Barney."

"Say that again."

"What? Why?"

"There's been a long time since the last time you even say that," he said. "I kinda miss it."

"You're and idiot. Happy?"

"Happy. So, you can get a coat and the we can go to a nice restaurant to celebrate and drink Scoth and do all that things we used to but we don't do anymore because..."

"It's not cold!"

"Oh, right, you're from that strange place in the north called Canada."

"Idiot."

"Always."

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><p><strong>Things are getting back to normal. A couple can't spent all their time fighting —not withouth ruining their marriage—, so this two have to return to normal at some point...<strong>


	13. Halloween Toast

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Halloween Toast<strong>

* * *

><p>"Really?! Ted, c'mon! Look at me! You've been using the same costume for more than ten years! Nobody gets it now!" The goodbye to the apartment happened in Halloween, 2016 and Ted was wearing the same costume he'd always used. "Even Robin and me—!," Barney stopped complaining when Tracy appreared. "Really?! You guys are soul sisters..."<p>

"And what the hell is your costume? You look the same as always," Tracy said.

"It's not the same—"

"Maybe a twenties' Barney? Because of the hat and—" Ted tried to guess but...

"Thirties! Thirties! It's Clyde!" He finally explained.

"Hey! I saw Lily there, she's Moby Dick..." Robin appeared and then looked at Ted's and Tracy's costumes. "You're really perfect for each other, guys. Really!"

"And here's Bonnie! Isn't she awesome?" Barney surrounded her back with his arm and smiles. "And of course, sexy!"

"We get it," said Ted. "Bonnie and Clyde, uh?"

"Yes, the gangsters. It fits us, doesn't it? So, you guys, will you continue living in sin?," asked Robin to Ted and Tracy. The wedding plans had been canceled with Tracy's pregnancy and they hadn't talked about that again since Penny's birth.

"Until Penny sleeps six hours in a row, yes," said Ted.

"We're always too tired to plan a wedding," Tracy said. "And a wedding in a French castle is huge."

"Very huge, yes," Robin agreed. "I can't believe that this is the goodbye to the appartment. We all live there one time... Well, except you," she pointed at Barney. "We're closing a stage of our live."

"Yeah...," Ted said.

"Well, guys, we're going to get a drink," interrupted Barney.

They left Ted and Tracy there and went to the table at the roof's bottom. Barney prepared one drink for him and one for Robin.

"A toast?," he proposed.

"Why not?"

"Okey. For us, because we survived as a 'we' in this crapy year," he said.

"And for 2017, hopping for the best," she smiled. The last months maybe had been tough, but the managed to survive and to save their marriage. Two messes like them saved a marriage. "For never stop being awesome, Barney Stinson."

"Cheers!"

They weren't perfect, not even a little bit. They were a mess, and their marriage was a total mess. But they were going to survive; in them own way.

* * *

><p><strong>They're still struggling to survive, but the worst part is over by this point. Of course, the Argentina crisis won't be the only problem of Barney and Robin, but they deserve a time of peace. Total peace. In fact, until the series' last episode I don't think that they were going to last too many years. But I want the mystery, not that crapy divorce that I got. It's like in the finale of the tenth season of Friends Ross and Rachel got divorced in a flashforward (as my best friend says). So, that make me become obsessed in write a happy ending for them <strong>


	14. Morning existential crisis

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Morning existential crisis<strong>

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><p>2017 started with Robin in television. She was covering the New Year's Eve of WWN and Barney was watching it. When the countdown started he remembered the the last words Robin ha said, talking with him on the phone: "I wish I could kiss you at twelve o'clock." Many things had changed in their marriage, but Robin still worked a lot. Not as much as foreign correspondent, but still a lot.<p>

They didn't talk about work, not since the fight. Robin quitted her last job and he... Well... He just continued doing business —or running a lifestyle blog, as Robin says—. And their relationship has gone well by that moment.

"I miss you last night," he said when she woke up the next morning.

"You saw me on television."

"Yes, but it was boring. I called Ted and Tracy, but they didn't have nanny and Ted didn't want to left the children with Clint and Virginia so—" he told. "However, I tried with Lily and Marshall, but they were at St. Cloud, to Lily's despair. She sounded like she needed a savior."

"I'm sorry for left you..." She sat down on the bed. "I'd prefer spent the new year with with you than with the idiot of the camera man. Oh god, he was more stupid than Sandy Rivers..."

"I can imagine your face behind the cameras," he laughed at her. "Maybe a 'oh, fuck, I'm surrounded by idiots' face."

"Yeah, exactly that face," Robin agreed. "I never tought I'd say this: but I really would enjoy more last night with you than in television. I love being a reporter, but, damn it! Not all the time."

"One year ago you simply would have gone without regrets," he said... And he regretted it in the same instant that it came out of his mouth.

"One year ago we fought all the time, and I was married to my career," she pointed. "Now, I'm an anchor, I love being an anchor, but I also want some fucking free time. I didn't realise before but I had spent so much time trying to become famous; and now all the people who have seen me on television recognise me. I achieved it, and now on? What the hell I do?"

"Try to relax? Maybe until breakfast? I've heard that having existential crisis before breakfast isn't very good."

"Damn it, Barney! It's serious!"

Yes, it was so fucking serious and important for Robin that he didn't know what to say. It was unbelievable. When the idiot of Sandcastles in the sand broke with her for the second time, he knew what to say —and then they had had sex for the first time...—, when her father didn't called her the day of the huracaine, he also knew what to say. And when she found out that her mother never had took the plain to her wedding, he had comforted her. But in that moment, when Robin was realising that her career wasn't so fulfilling as she had thought, he didn't have a clue of what to say in order to comfort her.

Damn it! That marriage had almost ended because of Robin's career! For years, nothing was more important than her career.

"I know. I know," he said. "It's only that... This is everything for you. Your job. You love it. Or al least you used to. I don't know what to—" Finally, Barney simply hugged her. "I don't mind if I have to share you with your career if you still love me and want to be by my side and have some time for me. I want you to be happy, Robin. In the way you want. But I want you to be happy."

"It's just... Nonsense. I—"

"If you say it, it isn't nonsense."

"It's just... I thought it'd be different. Being a foreign correspondent, or a famous anchor. But the first thing just gave a crazy and chaotic lifestyle and the worst crisis of our marriage by far, and the second only stress. I'm famous but... But... Oh, crap. It isn't the way I thought."

"How long have you kept this hidden?," he finally asked.

"More than you think. I don't wanna worry you."

Yes, that's Robin.

"Don't say nonsense. You're never going to worry me." But, the truth is Robin didn't was the kind of person that talks about her problems and neither him. Messes. That is what the were. Messes.

* * *

><p><strong>There's a point when you realise that you can't make plans, because life throw it all to the void or if your plans work, you realise things aren't as perfect as you thought. And that's Robin in this chapter. <strong>


	15. Holiday Plans

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Holiday plans<strong>

* * *

><p>The only thing Barney wanted to do on January 2017 was to make Robin happy. No matter how exactly. But Robin discovered her dream job wasn't so marvellous as she used to thought and simply quitter few months ago, when she became and anchor again. She was relatively famous —people recognise her in the street time to time— but, apparently nothing had change for her. They were at MacLaren's in the evening, in the exactly same table the the gang used to use. The only difference was that time Barney and Robin are alone. Lily and Marshal didn't live anymore in the appartment above and Ted and Tracy were in the suburbs, forty-six minutes away.<p>

"When was was the last time you took vacations?," asked Barney, suddenly.

"What?"

"Vacations! When was the last time you actually have vacations?," asked again.

"I don't remember... When I was unemployed?"

"That was ages ago, Robin!," exclaimed Barney. "Like an eternity ago! That was the year Ted was dumped in the altar!"

"2008."

"Almost ten years," he said. "You need some vacations. Like, now, for example."

"But my job—"

"It's still gonna be your job after a legendary vacations," he insisted. "How many years have you worked in WWN without a real rest? I mean, we travelled a lot the last years but you were always working. And now you're always working and you're not even sure if you like it!"

"But—"

"Let me finish, please...," asked Barney. "You can ask for your holidays and we can go to any place in the planet, except for Argentina —that place give me bad memories—. You can think in your existential problems or your career, your work and we actually can spend some time togheter. How it seems to you?"

"It's... A good plan."

"I knew it!"

"But—"

"Do you always have to have a 'but', Scherbatsky?"

"But," she reapeted, "I have to notify it in the office and wait until they had a substitute anchor. It's fine?"

"It's perfect!"

* * *

><p><strong>Okey, Robin can be a workholic, but, but, but, workaholics also need vacation. One in a century, but they need it! (And I'm a workholic, so I know this. Pretty well). Soooo... tomorrow (maybe today in some parts of the world already) is my birthday so this uptade is like my self-gift. Or something. <strong>


	16. Jacuzzi or no jacuzzi

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Jacuzzi or no jacuzzi<strong>

* * *

><p>"Why did we chose Cairo in spring, again?," he asked.<p>

"I simply pointed anywhere in the map after three hours without not knowing where we can go," she smiled. "At least isn't the Antarctic."

"Not the Antarctic, but this is close to hell!"

It wasn't that bad, but, after two days, the heat become insufferable. Cairo was like a paradise for tourists some times, but, have an awful weather. Hot like hell for the day, cold like the North Pole for the night. Or maybe he was just exaggerating.

"Well, I kinda like it. I've never cover anything in Egypt so it's cool to know finally this place..."

"Whatever, Scherbatsky," he said, "while you are happy, I'm happy."

"Hum, do you wanna go out tonight?," she asked. "The receptionist told me about a great club that didn't sound so great and—"

"It's our holidays, we have to—"

"Let me finish!," she complained. "And. And. I want to test de jacuzzi instead going to a crapy club. You know, test."

"I'm now listening."

"I suppose that..." she smiled. "Remember when we promise we aren't going to be a crapy old couple?"

"Uh..."

"The completely disastrous weekend of the wedding."

"Ah!"

"We're achieving it. We survive to the first five years," she smiled. "So, do you wanna go out to a great —not really great— club. Or. Or. Or."

"The jacuzzi?"

"Exactly." She was so close to him in that precise moment that Barney couldn't breath for a second. That woman was awesome. "You're fast."

"But —yes, I have a but—," he made clear when he saw Robin's face, "the jacuzzi isn't just normal? I mean, when we started travelling we tried it in every possible place. Roofs, balconies, the kitchen of that crapy restaurant... Maybe we're a crapy old married couple."

Robin rolled her eyes.

"Can you repeat me, please, why the hell I married you?"

"Because I'm the Barnacle! 100% handsome, 100% awesome."

"And 200% narcissist!"

"Of course, Scherbatsky," he said with a smirk in his face. "Stinson pure."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, handsome and awesome guy —and the most narcissist I've ever met—, jacuzzi or no jacuzzi?"

"Uh...," he was still doubtful.

"Jacuzzi today, whatever place you want tomorrow, last offert."

"Deal!" He didn't even think of that.

* * *

><p><strong>Maybe a very normal chapter, yes, but I'm already thinking how to end the fic by this point, this can't keep going until the infinite. I have a scene in mind, but it isn't near yet, so I think we have chapters for a little more time. There's drama for this two. Huge drama<strong>.


	17. Batman and Robin

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Batman and Robin<strong>

* * *

><p>This was the first time they were togheter after a long time. They were in touch, but since Marshall and Lily had three kids, and Ted and Tracy had been postponed the wedding again because of Luke, their second son, organised a reunion with all the gang had been impossible, until Ted and Tracy organised that Halloween party. Barney, who had said that he never was going to return to a party in the suburbs after Lily's and Marshall's became a disaster thank to Mickey and his bees, acceded to go after Tracy promised a lot of Scotch.<p>

"So... Where are the kids?," asked Robin,

"Penny and Luke? With Tracy's parents," answered Ted. "I don't think is sure let the kids with my mother..., and Clint. Specially Clint, an the stuff he smokes."

"Hey! This is awesome! We hanging out again!," interrupted Barney. "Where the hell are Lily and Marshall?"

"Talking to the nanny, for sure," said Tracy. "Oh, Robin, where's your costume?"

"Don't get it? She doesn't need it, she's already Robin!" explained Barney after Robin could said a word.

"Oh, right, Batman."

"Hey, guys!" Lily and Marshall used to spent days planning the costume for every Halloween party they went, even after they became parents, their costumes were pretty spectacular. That time wasn't the exception.

"The genie and and the magic carpet," comented Tracy. "I like you, guys."

"Robin, again without costume?"

"She is already Robin!," explained Barney before Robin could say a single word. He was going to spent the night explaining that.

"Hey, Batman! Why do you speak like as a trans? I remember that you have a pretty awesome voice in the movies...," Marshall comented.

"That's it! I need some alcohol!," Barney exclaimed before he went searching some drink. "Do you come, Robin?"

"Of course..."

"You are forbidden of using any room for having sex!" Ted said before they disappeared.

"Challenge accepted. So. So... So..." Barney poured two glasses with the first thing he saw. "What room?"

"What?"

"What room?," he asked again. "You, now, you, me... When we get bored o we decide we are awesome and we,re going to have sex in Ted's house because we never try it before. That!"

"You're unbelievable, Barney!"

"And 100% awesome, thank you, thank you. Oh, and it's Batman, remember" He smiled. "What room?"

"Any, but not the kids' one. Ted would kill us for real if he find out that we will sex in of the kids' rooms. Also, it'd be super weird."

"Yeah. Super weird. It's a deal, any room, excepts the kids' one."

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><p><strong>This and the last chapter that maybe don't have so much drama but, but, but, but, the characters deserve some peace. Of course, they're Barney and Robin, putting them in trouble is really easy!<strong>


	18. Aunt Robin

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Aunt Robin<strong>

* * *

><p>2017 was great and 2018 was like a new honeymoon. So, for Barney and Robin, there wasn't interesting stories that year. But, 2019...<p>

"Can you explain to me again why we agreed to look after Penny and Luke?," asked Robin. With all her friend having children, she was already used to kids, and maybe, just maybe, she wasn't scared of them anymore. She actually find her nephews and nieces cute. But look after them a complete week-end was big words. Extremely big words.

"I don't know, Ted and Tracy said something like: 'Ow, we planned a romantic trip to anywhere and Tracy's parents can't look after the children and Virginia and Clint are... Virginia and Clint...' and then Lily said something about... I don't have a clue, I wasn't listening."

"You never listen what Lily says—"

"Sometimes I do, no when it's boring. Where were we? Ah, in Lily's comments about and stuff and things and stuff and... You said something like 'I have a free week-end' and the last thing I knew is Tracy convincing us to take care of Penny and Luke and I saying something about a absolutely not legendary something."

"I know that! I was there! But, really, seriously, in what mind you and I are good to look after children?"

"Tracy's? Because Ted give an enormous list with the things we can't do while we are here, and 'drink scotch', 'have sex in our bed' and 'taking the kids to the laser tag' are included."

"I mean, you always say you're going to teach Marvin how to live when he has the age, I buy expensive gifts for them because their parents don't buy it for them and we eventually doing to take them to the laser tag—"

"Aunt Robin?" It was Penny. She was four and maybe was the cuttest girls Robin had ever seen.

"Penny?"

"Can you read me a story? Mom always read me one before sleep."

"Ow, do you hear that?," Robin asked Barney. "She wants me to read her a story."

"Yeah, I hear that." Barney smiled, seeing Robin so close to Penny.

"Well, I guess I have to read you a story, lithe girl." She left the living room with Penny by her side. "What tale do you like the more? Snowhite? The sleeping beauty? The little mermaid?"

Even though she wasn't a kid lover, she looked very cute talking to Penny.

* * *

><p><strong>With Ellie in the original equation I've always asked if things would work out again for Barney and Robin with Barney's daughter. Of course in this fic Ellie doesn't exists, but the question yes: "Could Robin be a mother sometime?"<strong>


	19. Hypothetical question

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Hypothetical question<strong>

* * *

><p>"So?"<p>

"Luke is finally sleeping." Robin flopped on the couch, she was visibly tired after two days of taking care of Penny and Luke. "And... That's it. We finish here. In a few hours Ted and Tracy will return after their romantic trip."

"No more being nannies," Barney said. "Although maybe I'm gonna miss their voices in my ears all the time."

"We didn't screw up this,", Robin smiled. "Actually we're pretty good nannies."

"Nanny high-five?"

"Nanny high-five." She smiled. "We managed to spend a whole weekend with Penny and Luke and make them forgot that their parents wasn't here."

"Yeah. If you think it, we actually would be good parents..."

"What?"

"I'm saying that—" Then Barney realised what exactly he'd said to Robin, who didn't want kids and more important, she couldn't have kids. "You know what? Forget it. Forget I said it. Forget it."

"No, it's ok. We... We never talk about this before... I know I can't have—"

"I don't want to ruin it before Ted and Tracy are here. It was stupid, ok? I shouldn't said such thing," he interrupted her. "It was completely stupid. Kids are off the table, at least for us."

"When I say to you that I probably was pregnant, you were the most excited with the idea, Barney," she pointed.

"That was ages ago. Ages. 2011? 2012?"

"But—"

"Forget it," he begged. "Please."

"Oh, just hypothetical question. Maybe if... If I can have kids," she started, "would you... would you... want a kid?"

"Maybe—"

"Be honest."

"I'm always honest to you. Remember that vow?" He said. "Maybe... Just maybe, just if you're actually able of having kids, maybe —I'm just saying maybe—, maybe... Yes. Maybe I'd want a kid. A little me, or a little you... Okey. Okey, I answered your question, now just forget about it, okey?"

"Okey," she said, but she seemed very doubtful in that moment. "It's just—"

"Look, Robin," he started,vdecided to end with that topic in that moment, "I married you. Not the idea or a kid, not even the dream of a kid. Since the day I planned The Robin I knew this. I never brought the topic to the table because, besides you couldn't have kids, you didn't want them. And I respect that, okey? It was your choice and you made it long before I played 'Have you met Ted?' on you. You're much more important than having kids. That doesn't matter, not really, because I love you."

"It's just—"

The bell rang and Robin never finished the sentence.

* * *

><p><strong>The question were going to appear, sooner or later, in with this two. In the series they don't talk about that so much, only when Barney explains to Lotetta that Robin can't have kids.<strong>


	20. The eight-years-later talk

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>The eight-years-later talk<strong>

* * *

><p>When Barney got up, Robin was already in the kitchen, having some breakfast. Or, something, because she was only playing with the food.<p>

"Hey, it's Sunday, wanna go somewhere?," he asked.

"Mm-hm..."

"That's a yes or a no?"

"Mm-hm."

"Robin..."

"I've been thinking," she said suddenly.

"About what?" Every time Robin said 'I've been thinking' meant she been thinking about a bad thing. Or a thing that were going to lead them into an argument. He really didn't want to hear what she'd been thinking that days.

"Our conversation, at Ted's and Tracy's," she specified. "You know, about—"

"That was an unfinished conversation!"

He really, really didn't want to go back to the 'children' topic. Not anymore. It was true that they never talked about that before, but, since Robin didn't want kids, all the alternatives are off the table. And there, when the topic finally came to light, he was in his forties, and she was... Almost in her forties.

"But I can't stop thinking about that," she said. "I know it's stupid, but... I simply cannot stop."

"Okey, I'm listening..."

"It's just... Everything is changing except us. Well, and Stuart and Claudia. They're always one step far from the divorce, but that isn't important..." She close her eyes a second. "I'm sorry. I'm just, a little distracted. Okey, everything is changing, all our friends has kids, different priorities that spent all the possible time in the MacLaren's."

"We're different. I knew that since the moment I asked you to marry me, Robin," he said. "Why this matters so much to you? We're happy. Or I think so..."

"Yeah, isn't just that. It's the kids topic."

"Just to be clear: do you want kids? Will you want kids any time in the future?"

"No, and I don't think so."

"So?! Why the hell are we having this talk?!"

"I don't know! Maybe there was a time when you want kids! Maybe in ten years you will be thinking that you should have had children! And I never be able of offer you that."

"I said you 'forgot it' because I didn't wanna have this talk —of all the talks existent in this world—" he said, much more calmly than Robin. "There was a time, yes, of I think about having kids. When I thought you were pregnant. Except for that little moment —and when Ted almost adopt a kid, you know...— being a father wasn't in my plan. It was never there, it still isn't here. Okey? That wasn't my plan. Since the moment I found Tracy in a drugstore the only plan was get you. So, why are we talking about this eight fucking years later?"

"Because we suck at having talks?"

"I mean seriously."

"Because I was freaked out with Penny and Luke, and then I discovered that isn't so awful. Taking care of children."

"Because we only took care of them for two days and a half."

"Yeah, maybe..."

"Look, Robin, don't freak out about this, especially if it's for me wanting kids. I only want you. The rest doesn't matter, not even a little bit."

* * *

><p><strong>Having kids was never in the plan of this two, but I think, for every couple, this talks comes sooner or later. Because they realise all people around have kids, because they realise that they are too old to having kids... That kind of things.<strong>


	21. Wedding Regards

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Wedding regards<strong>

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><p>Ted and Tracy had been together the last seven years, had been engaged for five years and had two kids. Robin thought that they didn't need a French castle and a super wedding to prove the world that they loved each other. That was the most simple wedding Robin saw, but almost the happiest, the one with less drama. Nobody ruined that wedding, nobody has a crisis, like her at her wedding, like Marshall and his awful haircut. A simple, but incredibly awesome wedding.<p>

"I once tell their children that I got married first," said Barney. "We've been waiting for this wedding since the first date."

"So... Remember something?"

"What?"

"Our bet," said Robin. "Four years ago, I pay you fifty bucks for the Lily's third pregnancy. You owe me fifty bucks for this wedding."

"Oh... That thing... But you never never tell Ted I bet against him."

"Even you knew that you're gonna lose this bet."

"But... He called her one day before meeting her! He didn't wait the three days!" He exclaimed. "Only one simple rule!"

"Yeah, yeah, I don't think that matter now. Seven years later."

"Fine!"

It was an intimate wedding with only close friends and family. Ted's and Tracy's parents, and, of course, Clint. The complete gang witouth the kids, and a few more people. Lily's perfect wedding, as Robin remembered, even though she wasn't the one that have that wedding. But all weddings used to look alike for Robin.

"Hey, you remember our wedding?" She asked.

"Yeah. More dramatic."

"A little bit, yes..." she agreed. The wedding weekend have a lot of drama for the two, for Lily and Marshall, for Ted... More ups and downs she can count. But Ted's and Tracy's was just perfect.

"All weddings make me remember ours," he confessed. "Even the most awful and terrible ones. The groom and the bride always look with the same lovely gaze."

"Yeah. Always..."

"Wanna dance?" he asked.

"Always."

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><p><strong>Don't you see that look in their eyes in the finale at Ted's and Tracy's wedding? I'm still saying their divorce was a crime. That finale drives me nuts. Btw, happy new year!<strong>


	22. Mayor Crisis

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Mayor Crisis<strong>

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><p>"Fuck off! Fuck off!"<p>

"Maybe I do!"

The next thing Robin knew is that Barney went out the apartment whipping the door. As Lily had said several times their fights was always spectacular. They yelled, broke things and two floors down and two floors above the neighborns could hear the fight. Pretty spectacular. Like in a drama movie.

Robin sat down in the couch, defeated. How they came to that point after two or three nights of arguing about nonsense? She didn't know exactly, but it sucks. It make she remembered about Argentina and she was sure about once simple thing: she didn't want another Argentina. Never again.

Eight years and a couple of months of marriage, and... Well... They were screwing up it all over again because they were so arrogant and, after three days, no one wants to give up. All started because she said she had to work in a Saturday special, but then he said something about a dinner, and stuff, and stuff, and stuff. And three days later they weren't arguing about she working the next Saturday and ruining the surprise dinner he prepared anymore. They were arguing about he not washing the dishes properly in time, and she being a workaholic all the time.

All the dry-aged fights they were avoiding for weeks.

The truth was they were so happy that they didn't want to ruin so much happiness starting a fight. So they started to try to ignore all the little things that bothered them. But soon that 'little things' became into 'huge things' and then... All exploded causing a total mess.

They really were messes. They avoided fights because they wanted to stay happy a little more, but I seat the only thing they actually got was to be even unhappier.

"Crap," she whispered.

Where the hell would Barney be in that moment? MacLaren's? Somewhere else? Would he be thinking about the bunch of crap they had between? She had to fix that. She knew that with eight years of marriage in their back, living without trouble was almost impossible. Fights would came and go apbut they had to live with them and sometimes it was really difficult.

"We're screwing this up," she whispered again to an invisible Barney. But Barney wasn't there, he was god knows where.

Robin, slowly, found out that they had to fix it. God knows how, but they had to try. So, she took a coat randomly, two cigars she had been keeping for a special occasion and went to look for Barney.

He hadn't gone so far.

She found him sat in the street, in front of the building.

"Hey," she said and he turned over.

"Hey...," he answered, maybe a little caustionly.

"Want one?" She extended one cigar after sitting next to him.

"Yes."

They lighted the cigars and stay in silence. After eight years of marriage, the knew that all the trouble worth it. Really do.

"We'll figure it out, right?" She asked.

"Sure."

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><p><strong>This is a real crisis. Trouble don't end here, just is kinda of a pause. Yes, like a pause. They two need serious drama, because love isn't the paradise, not even a little bit. But, sometimes, love is awesome, and for that, you keep going. <strong>


	23. Pretending

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Pretending<strong>

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><p>But, actually, they didn't figure it out.<p>

They do the worst thing they could do: they ignore all the mess and all the trouble. They pretended to be good, they pretended all was great. But nothing was great and they weren't good. Talking was never one strength to them, but they had always managed to talk about the crapy topics and got over the fights.

That time, they didn't fight, but they didn't talk neither. Robin went to work every morning and Barney did their stuff. In the evening, they watch TV only because they needed something that wasn't silence. They didn't want to screw things up, but actually they were doing it, pretty spectacular. At least, until Robin accepted they couldn't live like that anymore. It was horrible in every way.

So, that time, she came from work and, instead of 'Hi' or 'Hey', she said the most awful words that can be said when someone is in a crappy relationship:

"We have to talk."

Barney looked at her, a little bit surprised.

"What—? Why? We are good, aren't we?"

No. They weren't good. It was incredibly obvious, but until that night no one wanted to pointed that out, because the fights would start again. And fights sucked. But being like that —ignoring the other, ignoring the trouble— sucked even more.

"Look at us, Barney. We're just pretending to be good."

"_On y va_— we suck, don't we?"

"A little, yes," she answered. "After a fight we always said we'll figure it out and we never do. It's like the easiest thing to say, but the hardest thing to do. It suck. We never talk anymore. At least, after we fight."

"I know, I know—"

"We only say 'hi' and 'how you're doing?' and we answer 'fine' or 'great' and that's it. No more interaction."

"It's crapy, right?"

"A lot."

"We should... I don't know, fix this before it was so screwed up," he said. "We two said the exactly same thing and we tried like for five minutes and then..."

"You mean... This is screwed up for... good?" She asked.

He opened the mouth and then... His phone rang. He tried to ignore it but, finally, he just answered because he didn't know what to say.

"Hi, Tracy!" He said with his 'all is normal here' voice. He talked with Tracy a little more and then... "Saturday? Uh... Wait a second." He put down the phone and looked Robin again. "Do you remember when we said that we will look after Penny and Luke next Saturday?"

"Oh... That... Ted asked us especially because apparently we were awesome nannies the last time and Penny want to— whatever, we can't fail them."

"So?" He asked again.

"Yes, we're doing it."

"Of course, Tracy, we'll be there on Saturday! Don't worry!" Barney said to the phone and then he said goodbye and he cut the call.

"So, about what we—?"

"Can we just ignore it until Saturday? Two days," ask him. "Just—"

"We've been ignoring this for weeks."

"Just two more days, just... okey? For the kids," he begged, but, as Robin didn't want to accept that, he just said the plan B: "Do yo wanna get super drunk and forget about this? We still have tomorrow to suffer the hangover… in complete silence."

"Yes. Yes."

If it was possible, they were ruining all even more.

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><p><strong>Okey, the last chapter didn't end SO bad, because things weren't soooo bad. But if they didn't talk and just pretend to be fine... Nope. Don't work. But actually, they needed a real crisis between them. The 'always-happy' couple isn't as good story as the drama one. Oh, and a quick note, on y va is a french expresión that means "here we go" <strong>


	24. Because love always worth it

**Disclaimer**: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Because love always worth it<strong>

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><p>"I'm just… read Penny the Little Mermaid… again, luckily she fall asleep in the first pages" said Barney and disappear. When Ted and Tracy return later that night, Luke and Penny should be in their beds, asleep. And, honestly, the only thing they want in that moment is that long and crappy and messy day ended the most fast as possible.<p>

The first night after their argument they get drunk and they have sex. Robin didn't go to work on friday and they just go through the hangover ignoring each other. But, in front of the kids, apparent normality was almost impossible since the very first moment. They couldn't. The tension was everywhere, every second.

"Hey, aunt Robin," called Luke, from his room.

"Hey, you, I thought you was sleeping…," she entered the room.

"I can't sleep."

"Why, little man?" she asked and sat down beside him.

"I'm not sleepy."

"Well… you have to sleep," she said. "Your dad wants to see you and your sister sleeping when he arrives. And if you don't sleep, maybe he'd think we're not really good nannies for you two."

"Uh… tell me a story!" he asked.

"A story like a tale? I can tell you that one with the dragon—"

"No, not like that. A real story. Something that really happened," he asked. Robin sighed. What kind of story she could tell to that little guy? Luke was the cutest kid she ever met and Ted forbidden her to tell any story what started in a bar. And all her twenties and early thirties stories began in a bar. With no kids rated details.

"I… I… Let me think about something okey?"

"Why did you get married to uncle Barney?" the kid suddenly asked.

"What?"

"The last time you come I heard him saying you are the most amazing girls he could ever marry… Why did you married him?"

Well… She couldn't tell the kid that story. Not at all. It included pretending not to date someone while you are actually dating him… well, sort of; breaking up, not stopping thinking about him, cheating… What a mess. She used to think that every time she recall her story with Barney. It was just…

"Because…," she started, suddenly thinking about the whole mess. All the time they tried and failed. The most messy wedding she ever attended to —and actually be the bride—. The ups and downs. They things they talked about at Argentina. All the times they screwed it up and all the times they fixed it. Barney saying to her that having kids doesn't matter because he got her. It was messy, sure, but it all happened because… "I love him."

And, when she looked at the room's door, she caught Barney staring at her. And he was smiling.

"Because I love him," she repeated and stood down. "Look… Luke, I'm going to talk with your uncle Barney a minute, while you try to sleep; if I return and you still can't sleep I tell you how your uncle Barney proposed to me. Deal?"

"Deal…," he said.

She went out and closed the door.

"He look a little disappointed", Barney pointed out. "And I don't think telling him how I lied to you for weeks is the best idea."

"Yeah… but I can't tell her that you slept with over two hundred and fifty woman after deciding you're going to marry me, or that we cheat on Nora and Kevin once, or that we… spent weeks ignoring each other after that fight, The Robin is my best option and it was kinda romantic" she said. "He told me you said once that I was the most amazing girl you could marry."

She got tears in her eyes.

"You're always will be, if you ask. If it doesn't work with you, it doesn't work with anyone," he smiled. "You're the one. For me."

"Can we just have the damn talk?" She asked. "I think we really need it."

"Starting when we leave it last time:" Barney started, "no, I don't think this is ruined for good. Because you just said Luke that you marry me because you love me with the most adorable look in your eyes."

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><p><strong>Maybe this chapter is too long, especially because the others aren't but… whatever. I think I'm close to the end (but every time I say this, I get anothet idea, it's a curse!) and I'm already thinking of another story of this two (post crappy divorce, but… whatever). I hope you enjoy this! I still have more chapters!<strong>


	25. Just Normal

Disclaimer: The characters and locations don't belong to me, I'm not trying to become rich whit this, blablabla. I think is clear.

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><p><strong>Just normal<strong>

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><p>"Hey," Barney smiled when he walked into the kitchen.<p>

"Hey."

"Everything alright?"

"I think so."

"Great." He said and took one cup. "Coffee?"

"Mmm... Yeah, why not?"

"So, what are the plans for today?"

"Work. Come home. Dinner. Sex. The usual." She was smiling.

Things are getting back to normal, finally. They still were a mess, but at least they knew that ignore the problems didn't work. After eight years of marriage. Sure, he sleep in the couch sometimes or call Lily at three in the morning to talk about their marital problems. She yell and call Lily the next afternoon to invite her for a drink or something. She didn't talk about her problems. She didn't want and, the most of the times, Barney already had told her. Someone apologises finally and they go back to normal.

Eight years of marriage.

"It's been a while..." She whispered.

"What?"

"Us. Eight years of marriage."

"And remember: we married before Ted Mosby."

Robin laughed.

"You're never gonna stop telling him that every time we see him, aren't you?"

"Nah."

There were good times, bad times, extremely bad times, incredibly good times. Sometimes he conviced her to go to the laser tag —now they were really the oldest ones there. Sometimes they just had dinner and go to sleep.

"I thought so..."

"What? You can't blame me," he complained. "Both of us were afraid of commitment, marriage... We enjoyed being single. And we get married before Ted Mosby."

"Yeah, we did."

"Remember the time you ate a complete wedding cake?"

"Sure, of my stupid ex boyfriend... Who?"

"An idiot?" Barney suggested.

"Maybe..." She agreed. "And the time you called an ambulance only to get a girl's number?"

"That was good. I once talk like a dolphin to get a girl's number."

"You did plenty of stuff, uh."

"Yeah, plenty..." He smiled. "You too."

"Not as much as you..."

"But you did,"he pointed. "Once you date an old man..."

"Only jealousy Ted was convinced he was an old man!" She said. "He was only forty something..."

He laughed.

"We did plenty of stuff..."

She smiled. Sometimes just normal was good.

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><p><strong>Initially this was going to be another thing completely, but... Then this came to my mind and I just wrote it. They deserve something just normal. <strong>


End file.
